Hi Ho Let's Go

To you, oh wild one.

I liked how you were wild. It was cute and it absolutely drew me in. I guess i liked that you were different, from the usual people that I get to be with. I think I should thank you. You brought up a feeling that, in all honesty, I actually missed. You were cheerful. You were fun. And from the get-go you hit me square in the face by showing me a part of you that at I considered something close to heart.

It actually pains me to think of this, more so to write of this, as I really thought this was something that could’ve been amazing. I will admit though, that I had a hand in building this up and letting it all fall down. I do blame no one else but myself in the failure of both what I did and that which I chose not to do. What pains me more is that I’m back in a glass box again. with no doors, and keys that would open a way out for me. Nothing but walls that wouldn’t go down no matter how hard i try to break free from it.

As I write this I know that whatever this is still ain’t over and that we’ve still got quite a way to go. I don’t know what to do and where exactly i stand on. But I guess I’ll have to choose again. I was hoping that maybe, after writing this, I get a glimpse of it.

So for now I’ll just say good night, take care, and to your dreams take flight.

To you, oh wild one.

_._._._.

I read some of my old blogs, and by old blogs I mean those blogs I had since highschool.

Sometimes I can’t help but miss those times. Things were easy then. I still can’t believe that I really has been a long time. 

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if a ‘me’ from each year I existed ever got together and discuss the state of the ‘me’ :)) Where the hell did I go and what the hell happened to me? As the title said “Sometimes I wonder if our old selves would shake our hands or kick us on the shins.” 

Whether it matters or not doesn’t really matter. What I want right now is to have a clear vision of what I want and I’ll be damned if i don’t get my hands around it.

This wasn’t something that I particularly wanted but it is a welcome change.

Another “curve ball from the gods”.

I’m gonna toss this up into one of those “I really don’t know where the hell this is going and I really just want to have fun.”

So.. yeah.. 

P.S. This is something that I haven’t felt in a long long time. ThankYouComeAgain.

So it begins.

I’ve been feeling bored as of late. Like everything seems pointless. I feel like it’s weighing me down and it sucks ball. I’m missing something. Some form of thrill or excitement. I feel like I’m stuck in a rut. I need to be doing something. I need a drive. I need to feel alive. Just in time for the start of the sem.

I’m so out out of myself that I can’t even think of a good quip for this.

That is all.

It’s three in the morning and I can’t sleep. It’s like my mind wants to sleep but my body just won’t. Or maybe it’s the other way around. I really don’t know.

Was out pretty much the whole day doing driver duties, visiting relatives, and an impromptu trip to mercato with some friends. It was a good day though. I got stuffed pretty much through the whole of it. 

Saw this pretty girl i bumped into in campus a couple of times at CAL during enrollment over at Mercato. Is this fate? Haha. I don’t really give a shit. T’was kinda cool though. srsly.

I’ve been figuring out a way to regularize my blogging and to make it a more fun experience but to no success. It was either getting a little buzzed (which would require a significant amount of booze) or going auto-emo mode *(not yet convinced of this theory. I’m more of intrigued by it at the moment) when I write. 

The first would be costly while the latter is not something that I can easily do. I need my body clock running smooth if I am hoping to carry out my plans for the sem. 

I don’t know. But I am writing now. Hopefully that’s a good start.

Let it be known that I am doing this as a form of release and not for anything else. If it gets too stupid for your taste, please do un-follow.

That is all.

Well, technically it isn’t since it’s still just enrollment tomorrow. Nonetheless, having to drag ass all the way to UP just ruins the sembreak vibes. I’m still missing one grade and it would’ve been okay if it was just some easy subject. But no, I was one of those that I really had to burn my eyebrows for. I’m praying for all the good luck, karma, divine intervention, or just anything that would make me pass this subject. If I pass this then this coming semester would be a breeze (more or less). After all, I’ll be taking non-majors and the only thing I’ll really have to work on would be my thesis. 

If everything goes on as planned then this is going to be my last semester as an undergrad ever. To my batchmates, classmates, to everyone, let’s make this sem a good one.

It’s been months since I posted anything here. It’s not due to the lack of anything post-worthy. I just never really had the time to type shit down. I just got into thinking that maybe, just maybe, it’s time to do so again. No, not tonight. I’m sleepy.

So yeah. I shall do my best to type shit down again. There should be some psychological/therapeutic effect that this can do for me. A release of some sort.

Starting back at square 1:

-I’m tired

-I’m restless

-I’m mad

-I’m bored

-My body clock’s fucked up again

-And the nightmares are back.

Hoorah.